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This is a phrase I heard someone use at a meeting of a volunteer committee I was attending a few months ago at United Way. I like it. It summarizes an approach to life, especially a retirement life, that I endorse. Let's see where it goes. The first two words, Fail Fast, assumes a few things. One, that trying something new is encouraged, because without trying failure could not occur. That mindset is one that might have served you well during your working career. There are very few jobs where trying to improve something is not encouraged. Maybe you were not in a position to execute an idea, but you could certainly talk to a supervisor or someone else up the chain of command. Your idea to save money, serve clients more efficiently, be more productive, or improve workplace safety would be expressed. After retirement, we are in an even better position to experiment: a different housing or lifestyle setup, a new hobby, a desire to learn to sail, building furniture, making beautifu...

A few weeks ago I asked you to think about some of your preconceptions in a few areas  to decide if any needed to be changed or adjusted. One of the best features of retirement is the ability to reshape how you approach your life. We have the time and freedom to do so. I promised to give each area from the original list the same consideration and report on my thoughts about attitudes that have changed, and those where I struggle. here are my responses to some of them. Aging Getting older doesn't really bother me. There is nothing I can do about it anyway. I do dislike intensely the erosion of my physical self. I do what I can to minimize the problems. But, to complain how unfair it is and insist my 68 year old body be the same as my 38 or 48 year old body is a waste of energy.  I think society's view of older people is improving. Maybe it is because there are so many of us! I hope the stereotype of the grumpy old man or woman can be relegated to the history books.  I don'...

Today, I am assigning you a task. It will not be particularly easy because it requires you to look at some of your preconceptions and decide if each is still valid. To keep things moving I am asking you to complete this challenge in the next two weeks, give or take. In 14 days, give or take, I will ask you to report on your progress. And, yes, I will participate fully.  To begin, let's think about what types of preconceptions might qualify for examination.  How we think about aging This is a biggie. I would guess all of us have certain images in our mind of what getting older means. Physical decline, financial struggles, moving out of our home, or the loss of a partner can certainly part of that preconception. Hopefully, the last 7 years of this blog have added notions like freedom to change and grow or learning to say, "No," and controlling our commitments. Realizing that plans change, life unfolds in ways we never expected, or that the decades we may spent in ...

Which why to go? ....from my grandfather when I was 12 years old, my life would have been totally different. It is likely I would have not developed an intense interest in radio that led to a 40 year career. Without that decision I would have not been in a particular town to meet a particular woman who would become my wife.  The backstory is simple: at the age of twelve I had been selected to become a counselor in training at a YMCA camp an hour or so from my home. I was too young to have much authority, so my job was to help the 16 year old counselors manage the young boys in our dormitory, make sure they got enough sleep, made it to breakfast, and spent their two weeks having fun. Apparently, I was a rather "young" twelve. I didn't know how to motivate the younger kids. I allowed cliques to develop that targeted certain boys for bullying. Within four or five days I was homesick and wanted to leave. My parents suggested I give the experience another few days to see ...

First posted almost 6 years ago, it seems worthwhile bringing back for you. There is a story you may have heard about a giant circus elephant and how it was controlled. The animal was huge and very powerful. It could knock over a brick wall with it's trunk. But, in between performances all the massive beast had to keep it secure was a simple chain around its foot connected to a 12" wooden post hammered into the ground. Certainly the elephant could have torn the stake from the ground with one tug, but it never did. As a baby it was chained to the same post. Being small, no matter how hard it pulled the youngster could not free itself from the restraint. Obviously, as it grew in strength and size it could have yanked the chain free in an instant. But, the elephant had convinced itself the chain and post were unbreakable so it simply gave up trying. We all go through life being taught things that can limit our growth. We are told something that makes us doubt our p...

I wish I knew. More to the point, I wish it would stop. As the recent shooting at the baseball practice in Washington demonstrates, things seem to be escalating in a very dangerous way.  An article in Psychology Today said,  "T here seems to be more and more rude, demeaning, insulting, and aggressive language and behavior in our society."   That sums up what most of us experience on a too-regular basis. The question then becomes, why? Civility is defined as courtesy in behavior or speech. I'm pretty sure we all know it when we experience it. From holding a door for a stranger to helping someone reach a box of cereal on the top shelf, from disagreeing without disrespect  to making a fresh pot of coffee after taking the last cup, civility makes life more pleasant and satisfying. So why does civility seem to be in decline, maybe even dying from disuse?  I can offer a few possibilities. Your (civil) additions to my list are encouraged! 1) Social media Facebook and T...

"The knocking on the heavy, gray, wooden door was insistent even though it was well after hours, long after anyone should expect an answer at this address. Except for one rather forlorn street light a block away and a dim bulb by the outside entrance, this corner of the city was growing dark and deserted. Deserted, with the exception of whoever was knocking. In a small room, with blaring music and soundproof glass, the resolute pounding would never be heard. The outside world didn’t exit. Here was equipment, small, scratched, vinyl records in organized stacks, a dangling microphone, walls covered with faded photos and posters of musicians, some important, some not. Every few minutes a switch was thrown and a voice spoke a few words heard by hundreds or maybe thousands of invisible ears. Only the non-stop blinking buttons on the battered, black, desk phone and the glow of various lights and switches assured the voice that what he was saying was not going unnoticed. Eventually, the ...

The end of a day: Is that it? If the title reminds you of a song by Peggy Lee, you are definitely a boomer retiree. In a rather bleak view of life, the lyrics suggest that if this is as good as it is going to get then let's dance and party before the final disappointment of death. During a time of upheavals in the late 1960s, this was a top 15 hit for Ms. Lee.  Why such a bleak title and introduction to this post? Take comfort, dear reader, the song's mood is not reflective of mine. I am not in the throes of despair. I do receive emails on a rather regular basis, however, that express at least some of this feeling about retirement.  There are three primary concerns: What did I do? I loved my job, I will run out of money, or my spouse is driving me crazy. I certainly understand these concerns. I flirted with similar ones after leaving the workforce 16 years ago. I didn't think I was ready financially, emotionally, or socially...pretty much a clean sweep of f...

After 40 years of marriage I have learned a few things along the way that have proven helpful. Actually, there are a lot more than five lessons, but I know your time is limited, so I will stick with a few of the biggies. You are welcome to try them out. If you don't, you can't say I didn't warn you! 1. You can't change another person, only how you react and relate to that person. One of the myths of marriage that engaged and newlywed folks fall for every time is that you can change the person you are planning on spending the rest of your life with. He or she may have some habits that annoy you, or character traits that aren't all that warm and fuzzy. Given enough time and energy, you can remake that person into the model spouse you want.  Reality check: that is not going to happen. Assuming you are a functioning adult, there are traits and habits that you have brought with you into a new relationship. Sure, you can learn to put the toilet seat down, or not chew ...

A successful satisfying retirement can be upended by any number of problems, some of which you determine and some of which you don't. Your lifestyle and genes will play a large part in your health. Financial planning will be a crucial factor in how comfortable your life is after retirement. Your relationships can help make daily life happy or miserable.  There are three additional stumbling blocks to success that are completely under your control. None of them has to upend your journey. But, any one of them can, if you don't pay attention to their potential for problems. The number one stumbling block is lack of self confidence In previous posts I have stressed the importance of attitude in how satisfying your retirement will be. To steal an overused political phrase, I am doubling down on that belief by making this the most important stumbling block. You have made it this far in life by making more good decisions than bad, correcting mistakes, and maturing in your d...

I know, you have several things you'd like to change. One thing isn't nearly enough. Altering your life can be a constant process.  Even so, by picking one thing you will be forced to prioritize what is really important to you at this moment.  This is a tough question. I had to give it a lot of thought. Physical conditioning, missed experiences, strengthening my important relationships, working harder to build up this blog, still worrying too much about money, choosing easy over hard....I have plenty to pick from.  Of course, the choice really has to be within the realm of reality. No matter how much I might enjoy it, I will never be a professional baseball player or pro golfer. I cannot break the world record for high jumps. I am not going to the Olympics (except as a spectator). That 50 foot cabin cruiser is never going to sail with me at the helm.  Since I think we are all interested in each other's answers, I am going to keep my part of this post very short....

I should quickly qualify: I will be teaching one class a week for 5 weeks as a volunteer with the Junior Achievement program. The goals are to explain some basic economic literacy and talk about the possibilities of entrepreneurship.  In my case it will be with 26 students in a 4th grade class at an elementary school not far from my home. If all goes well, I will become a regular part of the school's schedule. My mom taught and volunteered in schools for over 40 years. Betty was a preschool  teacher for a couple of decades. And, I guess being a consultant for 25 years was a form of teaching. Even so, I have never pictured myself in front of a bunch of real children, in a real school, with a real lesson plan to work through. I'm finding it kind of exciting, and scary. I was looking for a new volunteer activity that put me in a position to positively affect children's lives, and this seems to fit the bill. To quote from Junior Achievement's web site...

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way talks about being a shadow artist. In her book, It's Never Too Late to Begin Again,  she says a shadow artist is someone who has creative urges or abilities and chooses a career that is close to the life they would like to have themselves, but are afraid to pursue. So, they settle for something in the "shadow" of their true heart's desire. A painter becomes a gallery owner, a playwright works in the front office of a theater company, or a photographer becomes an assistant to another photographer. Those folks satisfy their creative needs by being part of the world of art, but without the actual creation. For some reason the shadow artist idea popped into my mind when I was thinking about unsatisfied desires. Retirement is the time of life when we are often able to pursue something that has eluded us until now. Yet, for a host of reasons, we remain in the shadows of that dream, unable to take the steps necessary to fully realiz...

Satisfying Retirement  is a pretty positive place to learn about retirement. If you are looking for help in preparing for your retirement, or want some ideas on how to make this stage of your life joyful and productive, there are all sorts of informational resources available here. These past 15 years have been a very positive time in my life. Disclaimer I would be less than honest, however, if I didn't admit when I have been wrong about some things retirement-related. Everything has not been a bed of roses. So, here is a list of how my retirement life has fallen short in some ways. If any of these have happened to you, know you are in good company. If you have avoided these screwups or missed opportunities, congratulations!  * I was unhappy in my job for too many years before I had the gumption to make the decision to leave the work world behind. I wasn't bringing my best to my clients and I was shortchanging myself. * I wasted the first two years worrying about everything, f...

The last time I checked, Amazon had over 9,000 books for sale that dealt with one or more aspects of retirement. I would guess that most of them tell you to have a successful retirement by following their guidelines and rules.  Regular readers of this blog know it isn't that simple. Each  satisfying retirement is unique. Suggestions are tremendously helpful. Past experiences should be considered. Obviously, I trust this blog passes on some thoughts that help you decide how to build your retirement. But, the bottom line is, there is no blueprint we can follow that guarantees success. Each of us takes pieces and parts we learn about, mix those with our own goals, personality, and resources, and move forward on our journey. One thing that is very helpful in this process, is to read what others have done. Sometimes, those experiences will cause us to consider a new path or a readjustment. Other times, we will glimpse a caution light that tells us to proceed with care. And, then t...